I would like to be more intentional about my use of this blog. I'm so impressed by other people's blogs, but I'm not really sure what direction I want to take with mine. There's always stuff about Jared, but I don't think I want my blog to be completely about him. Other parts of my life are interesting too, right? Well, I'm hoping to really cultivate those other parts because I really feel like I've lost something.

My recent thinking has lead me to believe that it started after college. Up until that point in my life I had always been involved in dance or some kind of sport. These activities were fun, but I really got involved in them. Dance, especially in college was a huge part of me. I spent time planning choreography and perfecting routines, but I also spent time with fun girls who helped encourage me. They weren't just dance team girls, they were my friends (many still are). We had sleepovers, we talked about boys, we rode around and complained about coaches. This may not seem like a lot, but to me, someone who had trouble making/keeping girl friends as I got older, it was amazing! Although I'm still friends with those girls it's a lot harder to get together and obviously things aren't the same. 

The main problem with this is that I haven't found something to replace the spot that the dance team filled. I no longer participate in an activity that I loved/did for 19 years of my life and I don't have that easy in with girls. I don't think I noticed this gap so much when we lived in Indiana because I still had several other friends around, but now that we've lived out here for 3 years it's more noticeable and maybe even growing. I'm working on filling in that gap with people out here, but I need to do some personal work too. 

Without the constant back and forth with friends I think it's easy to lose ourselves. Jon is amazing and is great to share with, but there's just some things that you need other people for, even if it's just to get a range of opinions. Phone calls to friends are great, but they just aren't the same. Maybe it's just more noticeable since Jared's been born because I'm home more, but I just feel like parts of me are dying. 

That was all a little more depressing that I thought it would be. Sorry.

Basically, I want to regain myself. I have opinions and they are important. I have interests and I should follow them. I want to try things that may be mistakes. I want the freedom to do these things and I want to share them with those who are my friends. I'm going to try using this blog to talk about my overall life, including fashion, Jared, cooking/baking (when I've got something interesting), and maybe some home improvement (when we can afford it). Welcome to my life and please feel free to comment on posts or call. I'd love the company and your opinions.